


counting thoughts

by fledgeling



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fledgeling/pseuds/fledgeling
Summary: It was her, it was really her.





	counting thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> short drabble set to when lion found holly, dove and ivy by the abandoned twoleg nest aka near a tunnel opening  
> i think abt what lion said near the end of sunrise a lot lol  
> i didnt add in the two sisters cause i think they would have let them hav a moment oof

Lionblaze felt his throat well up with emotion. Her pelt, dark as the night, shone just a bit brighter under the shaft of moonlight, but her green eyes couldn’t of have been more darker.

Eyes that sparkled whenever they had something to do with the warrior code.

She changed, but she was still her sister, and instantly, his mind dragged him back to when he could feel the warmth of the nursery with its milky scent, the thrill of winning a battle for your clan, and the days where he’d light-heartedly bickered with Hollyleaf and Jayfeather. Days that have passed, days he would never experience again.

“Lionblaze…” her voice was strange to his ears, they sounded hoarse, small, afraid, and he stiffened.

“I-I won’t.” He choked out, fear and desperation evident in his voice. Balls of maggots felt like they were squirming in his belly. “I won’t, Holly, I- I _can’t_.”

His sister padded forward, eyes filled with so much pain. Lionblaze thinks he’s never seen anyone so broken before. “I’m sorry.”

She says, _she says._ When Hollyleaf reaches up to touch her nose to his shoulder, Lionblaze catches a whiff of her scent. Wet stone and cold earth. It reminds him on one of his most bitter memories, when he played and played under the tunnels with another clan cat, and he wonders. _Has she been living there the entire time?_ He thinks about the day she found out about him and Heathertail, how she practically saved his _life_ as a warrior, and he feels guilt, so much guilt.

He should’ve saved his sister. He should’ve helped her how she helped him, no matter how much of an ungrateful brat he was back in the day, Hollyleaf didn't deserve this. He had the power of the stars under his paws, he was the strongest cat in the Clans, and yet, and _yet,_ he couldn't even save one cat, a cat he loved more than his own Clan.

But when Lionblaze saw the signs, it was too late. He remembers his own words, all those seasons ago.

_“It wasn’t the same.”_ He recounts how he had pressed against Jayfeather, the latter as equally as upset as he was. _“Hollyleaf couldn’t bear the thought of being a medicine cat’s kit. She couldn’t bear the idea that she was half-clan. The warrior code meant everything to her and our birth smashed it to pieces.”_

_It’s not your fault_ , Lionblaze thought, blinking as the memory faded away, _it was_ never _your fault._

Her eyes looked watery, and in the back of his mind, he thought about his own expression. The moonlight that shone down on them got blocked out with a dark cloud, Lionblaze took it as a sign to move.

“Let’s go back,” oddly calm, Lionblaze rubbed his cheek against Hollyleaf, beneath the scent that brought him to his days with Heathertail, he found the scent of fresh green holly leaves. He always joked about how she was a literal plant part, but now, he couldn’t of have been more thankful to know that there was still something about her that he could recognize.

Hollyleaf nodded bleakly, “Jayfeather…” she mewed uncertainly.

Lionblaze felt his heart contract at the mention of their brother, Jayfeather had been devasted when Hollyleaf disappeared into the tunnels, sure, they suspected that she was alive, but how would he truly react?

Once Hollyleaf’s eyes glossed over, Lionblaze shook his head, “He’s back at camp, waiting.” It didn't matter really, whatever Jayfeather’s reaction, there was no denying that he’d be overjoyed to have her back. And this time, he hopes that they won’t ever, _ever,_ lose her again.

Hollyleaf shifts, and he’s able to crack a small, sad, weary, but relieved smile, “Welcome home.”


End file.
